My Father, My Advocate
I’m a daddy’s girl; truly and sincerely.
I know that I’m not the only daughter that has a special bond with her father; and I also recognize that others may not have such a relationship though they’ve desired one. Then there are those who mourn the loss of their fathers—I empathize with all realities, and you are not alone…you are seen and loved.
There is beauty in sharing our unique stories. It gives insight, encouragement and even amusement…because my family is kinda entertaining . . . in a quirky way (maybe I’ll release the b-rolls with my mom “insulting” my dad, that’s her love language!). But I digress…lol. I’m sharing a snippet into this father-daughter relationship that is me—Yvonne, and my dad—John.
My dad has literally been the MAN in my life. He epitomizes strength in humility and has been the quiet foundation for our home. He is the best listener and the best encourager. As I reflect on my family, I count my blessings on the support my dad has given me as a Black woman. As an African man immigrating here from Kenya with his family in his adulthood, he took on life’s challenges with grace and open arms. He actually isn’t your typical immigrant – he isn’t tethered to gender roles nor is he prideful, and while he understands the importance of our customs and culture, he does not let it dictate how he lives life or how he raised his family. My African dad has the qualities that many African dad’s possess – the dad jokes, multiple degrees (electrical engineer and MBA holder, mkay! Just a little flexin’ for y’all), and a strong work ethic. Here are 4 life lessons I’ve learned from my father:
1. Vulnerability is strength – my dad always encouraged us to be true to our feelings and emotions so that we can address them adequately and not allow them to control us.
2. Courage takes you far – fear is inevitable as life is just plain scary at times. My dad was a prime example of courage and how pushing through fears to accomplish your goals is rewarding. And my dad is the BIGGEST pessimist, so this lesson is a big deal.
3. Education is a powerful tool – my dad is an avid learner, a forever student. He showed me and my siblings the importance of attaining an education as a way to do the impossible. Listen, he had us knowing calculus before we barely finished geometry (yet I don’t even use calculus in my profession, haha).
4. Faith and family…over everything – God is the center in our family. And we have each other’s back. My dad led the way in this respect, making sure we made it to church as kids, and making sure we remain loyal to each other.
My dad is one of my biggest advocates. He is a prime example of how Black women can thrive with the active support of Black men. I see how he empowers my mom in all facets of life. I also reflect on how he did the same for me and my sister. And with all of this, my gratitude and love for him is immense.
Learn more about his perspective on empowering Black women
